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Unkle Munky Pg 142
Unkle Munky is now available, without the ads, here >>> ---- *Artist - Foals. *Song - This Orient *Videos prone to removal. ---- Testicle Awareness Munky, I’ve received a letter from Cancer Research asking if you would like to become a patron of their Testicle Awareness campaign? What shall I tell them? Unkle Munky replies -''' Huh? I don't see the point, Mary. I’m already aware of my testicles? ''Mary replies - Oh for god’s sake!'' ---- Scan Adrian from County Tyrone asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my letter regarding Blockbuster Videos? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Adrian, The DVD of your girlfriend’s scan did not come courtesy of Blockbuster videos. Successfully exchanging it for something ‘more exciting’ would therefore seem highly unlikely! ---- Munky's HeadLies ---- Munky's Conundrum Jamie from Darlington asks - Dear Unkle Munky, If you ever found yourself under arrest, who would your one telephone call go to? 'Unkle Munky says -' Mmm… Let me think… This is a tricky conundrum and no mistake... Now, would I Dial-a-Pizza or order myself an Indian…? I’ll have to get back to you on this one. Jamie replies - What the fuc…? ---- The Unprofessionals This Week: Bodie’s sweet tooth causes concern as he terminates a car chase in favour of pursuing an ice cream van. ---- Munky's Little problem Yvonne from Leicester asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is there any correlation between the size of a mans feet and his penis? 'Unkle Munky replies -' Dear Yvonne, I can confirm that feet and penis size are indeed relative to each other. ''Munky, why are you walking around in those ridiculous oversized clown shoes?'' 'Unkle Munky replies -' Clown shoes? I don’t know what you mean, Mary. These are my regular shoes. I just so happen to have very large feet. Ahem. ''Ms. Motion Sickness says - Yeah right.''' ---- Careers Advice Simon from Brighton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am being interviewed for a position at a nudist colony tomorrow. I'm rather nervous and was wondering if you might have any tips for me? '''Unkle Munky says -' Dear Simon, Alleviate those preliminary nerves by simply imagining your prospective employer in the nude. Simon replies - Uh? ---- The Irrelative Pie Chart Company ---- The Big Book of Cremation Scott from Firth asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that the average weight of a cremated adult is nine pounds? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Scott, I have consulted my 'Big Book of Cremation' and can confirm that the average weight of a cremated adult is indeed nine pounds. Personally I can only despair at the lengths some people will go to in order to lose weight. Sad, very sad. ---- Confused Munky Vernon from County Antrim asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My girlfriend can get her whole fist into her mouth. I was just wondering if you could? 'Unkle Munky says -' Uh? But I don’t know your girlfriend? Send her over and I’ll see if I can. Vernon replies - Oh for god’s sake! I meant can you get your fist into your mouth! Jeezus, you really are shit at this agony business, Munky! ---- Next... Previous... Twitter... Shitter!... More Munky Here...